Whether you are a foster carer or a parent, building a strong relationship with the child in your care is essential for their wellbeing and development. Here are some tips for creating a loving bond and nurturing environment.
Communicate Openly
- Listen attentively when your child speaks to you. Make eye contact and give them your full focus.
- Ask open-ended questions to understand their thoughts and feelings. Don’t interrupt or rush them.
- Share your own experiences and emotions to model open communication. Be honest in an age-appropriate way.
- Make time for regular one-on-one chats. Aim for no phones or other distractions.
- Adjust your communication style to the child’s age and abilities. Use simple language with younger kids.
- Validate their emotions by naming them. Say “I see you’re feeling sad/angry/frustrated right now”.
- Clarify any misunderstandings calmly. Don’t assume bad intentions.
Provide Unconditional Love
- Offer lots of praise and encouragement for effort, not just success.
- Avoid criticism, harsh words, yelling or physical punishment.
- Be patient with challenging behaviours, especially if you foster with an agency like orangegrovefostercare.co.uk. Respond with empathy.
- Apologise sincerely when you make a mistake. Model how to make amends.
- Remain calm during emotional outbursts. Help them label and process feelings.
- Reassure them often that your love is unconditional, no matter what.
Support Their Interests
- Learn about their hobbies, passions and favourite topics. Engage them in conversation.
- Expose them to new experiences like sports, arts, nature walks. See what sparks their curiosity.
- Find books, shows, and games related to their interests to share together.
- Display their artwork and schoolwork. Attend their events and performances.
- Help them pursue interests through classes and activities. Provide needed supplies.
- Discuss how interests can become future education or career paths.
Set Clear Boundaries
- Explain household rules and expectations using simple language. Be consistent.
- Involve older children in making age-appropriate rules. Ensure they understand the reasons.
- Follow through calmly with fair, logical consequences when rules are broken. Avoid extreme punishments.
- Acknowledge good behaviour often. Offer rewards like a special outing or activity.
- Model apologising and taking responsibility for your own mistakes.
- As they grow older, allow more independence and freedom within agreed boundaries.
Make Time for Fun
- Play together! Young kids love physical games like tag or pretend play.
- Watch a movie together. Stop to discuss interesting parts.
- Cook or bake something yummy as you chat.
- Read aloud books before bedtime, doing character voices.
- Go to the park regularly. Swing together and get some energy out.
- Have family game nights with board games, charades, Twister. Laugh together!
- Go on walks, bike rides or short trips. Explore and adventure together.
Address Problems Collaboratively
- When issues arise, discuss solutions together rather than imposing them.
- Listen without judgment. See things from their perspective. Validate their feelings.
- If they make a mistake, focus on learning, not blame. Help them reflect on how to do better.
- For especially challenging behaviours, investigate the underlying reasons. Work as a team.
- Guide them through problem solving rather than solving issues for them. Offer support.
- Apologise sincerely if you make a mistake in handling problems. Forgive each other.
- Seek counselling if challenges become overwhelming. Get professional support.
Building a close relationship takes time, effort and patience. But the rewards are immense for parent, child and society. Keep nurturing that bond through all of life’s ups and downs.
